Updated: Jan 2, 2019
You have people who refuse to touch on this topic, but I’m not one of them. This is who I am! But Brunette women, we need to stop obsessing ourselves with rare beauty standards, and some of you are even obsessing yourself with bi-racial features with big bright colored curls. We need to stop obsessing ourselves with these women! We need to shine with our natural shiny dark hair and embrace who we are!
I’m starting off by saying that this certainly does not apply to all white women with light features, but we aren’t going to pretend that this does not happen. I’m speaking from my own personal experience, even from some of the comments I read from social media. As you all know, I have a couple of pages specifically centered around European women and girls with darker features such as brown hair and sometimes I'll showcase those raven hair as well. Eye colors may vary and skin colors may vary from porcelain to tanned skin. Sometimes you have those with lighter features brag about their traits, even some biracial and multiracial women do this as well.
Those women may mose their way on over to videos that celebrate brunette beauty (and yes, there are a few out there) and be in your face with their disrespect. Make no bones about it. While they may have their ego, you aren’t going to get them to admit that they like feeling superior to women like you who have darker features in regards to how they look. They love it when men put them on a pedestal while they put you on the back burner. They love it when people publicly speak out against us and call us average or inferior. They love it when we dye our hair, wear contacts or bleach our skin to try and make ourselves look like them.
Why? It brings validation to their superiority complex. When it comes to natural beauty, American society is very competitive. It may be unwise to compare ourselves with others, but, for quality; we naturally do, because that’s how we’re judged.
We are often accused of being jealous, labeled as inferior while they give us their discourse of how they think we should change ourselves to stand out more. They suggest that we are too common, therefore we are not as valued (according to their value system).
I’m not going to deny that there is some ounce of truth to their criticism as we do often make ourselves look that way by putting ourselves down and working hard to change our looks. But realize that there are also lies.
“But we are only 1 to 2 percent of the population, therefore we are valued more.”
While it may be true that we outnumber them, remember that these are intimidation tactics they use in attempt to shame us out of our confidence.
It's just like the shaming tactics men use:
“The whiter she is the more beautiful she is.”
"Blondes and reds over brunettes..."
"I prefer redheads, not the bottled ones..."
Let's be honest. Men use shaming tactics, too.
We are constantly being told that we are inferior to those who possess rare beauty. So how do we combat these intimidation tactics? When they come at you with all they've got and start platforms exclusively celebrating women (and men) who look like them, start their own conventions and celebration days dedicated only to people who look like them, all the while some of them will rub it in your face, throw you on the back burner while they brag about how rare they are, and that they are the one and only group that has annual events and days celebrating their hair and beauty. You can read about it on their blogs.
Apparently, they've never heard of Brownie Locks Day, which is an annual event that has been observed since November 24th 1999. But when they see us celebrating our hair and beauty and take pride in our traits, what is the first thing they throw at us?
The most common quote: "But.. we are only 1 to 2% of the population. We're rare, therefore we're superior." But brown hair with light skin is just as stunning and admirable! So why would a brunette event be unmerited and attacked while a white / redhead celebration gets a complimentary truck? This same tactic has also been used against other women with darker features who have organized special events to celebrate their natural look.
Here is the die hard truth, ladies and gents. Europeans make up around 9.83% of the total world population. And those of them with various brown hair shades make up less than that (around 6% or less) worldwide. Of course, we may outnumber redhead and blonde white women, but that only being by a small percentage if you only include people of our ethnic group. But when comparing to world population, which includes non-whites, we also have to understand that those of European descent make up a minority of it. So of course blondes and reds make up a small 1 to 3% in comparison to the entire world's population because other races are almost never born with aka yellow hair or red vibes (if it does happen it is an extremely rare occurrence as opposed to the West). So I think this is an unfair comparison and should never be used to determine anyone's value or worth. We have to realize that we are not as common as we think we are just because we may have a dark feature or two. WE ARE A WORLD MINORITY people!
Now for the celebration days. We have 'Kiss a Ginger' day or 'Annual Redhead festivals', which can make brunettes feel left out, but we can just as easily come up with our own celebration days, groups, annual events, platforms, and so on. We can just as easily become as egotistical as they are, and some have (which are very few and far between).
And when they take it a step further and come at us with names of redhead women who have won at adoration and have flourished, I can just as easily come back at them with names of brunette women who are just as beautiful and successful who don’t get the celebrity status that redheads get just because of their hair.
Unlike redheads, we don't rely solely on our hair color to stand out. There are other ways one can stand out.
We have plenty of red-head pages, but none dedicated to our beauty and brains. It's time to step up our game, dark-haired gals!
These ‘attractive redheads’ who are placed on a pedestal by both men and women, they love being there. They’re not really interested in sharing that with you as a woman with darker features. They love that part of them that makes them stand out, and they benefit from your obsession with them!
We need to see the importance of OUR hair and beauty! We need to see the importance of standing apart as a woman with dark features instead of trying to imitate other beauty standards. Even if your goal isn’t to imitate these things, when you go out and buy that red hair dye, in the eyes of others, that is how you are making yourself look. You’re making it loud and clear that you want to look like these women and wish to share with their exclusivity. What we really need to show is just how beautiful and elegant dark features can be on light skinned women without seeing a need to change any of it.
The funny thing is, some of these women will go so far as to go to our pages just to tell us that their beauty is vastly superior to ours and tell us that we are or should be jealous of them because our dark features are too common and nothing special. They may even go so far as to post pictures of themselves or kids with platinum blonde or curly red hair and blue eyes stating: "This is what real beauty is." And why do they do this? I'll tell you why.
They just can't fathom a woman with darker features putting her beauty on top! They can't fathom someone else besides them being elevated! They have it so ingrained within them to believe that they are the only ones who have the right to be celebrated! They've had the superiority complex instilled in them for so long that they feel ENTITLED! Some may say: "Sure, there are beautiful brunette women but they are STILL more common and less admirable than blondes and reds". They love to remind us of where we're placed in society. It’s true, they want to keep their "spot". This is why you need to flaunt your natural beauty unapologetically and unashamedly. Create your own beauty standard and KEEP IT dark and lovely!
You want to see a mad and jealous redhead or blonde? Stop falling for their shaming tactics! Let them see you confident with your natural look. Let them see you flourish and succeed with your dark and lovely locks!
Again, it’s not all of them who think this way. But many of them, as they are perceived as better, have come to believe it and internalize it. These are also some of the things that may play into a lot of brunette women’s low self-esteem.
On the other hand, some of them may also say “I don’t think I’m better than you” when they know sure and straight that they love being elevated above you. And I'm sure if Brunette women were esteemed as they are, they would love it just as much. It's human nature. So lets move on!
Light skinned women with dark features, and even bronze skinned beauties, have fallen for the shaming tactics. Many of us are making ourselves look like wannabes and pretenders with fake red hair and bottled blonde hair. It’s true. When so many dark-haired women and girls have fallen for this and have even been scrutinized for it. But wouldn't you want to portray the opposite of this inferiority complex?
I see these women who always dye their hair and never show their natural hair color. I’ll have to say, they are the ones who look insecure. Some of them have come so far as to tell me: “I don’t feel bad about my dark hair. I just choose to dye it because I like it better” or “because I want to experiment with other hair colors” or “because it looks better on me” or "because it makes me look younger".
So then my answer would be: “Then why don’t you wear your natural hair with pride? It’s obvious, that you don’t think your natural hair is good enough to show.”
What other reason is there for a woman to dye her hair long term? It makes her look like she hates her natural looks, she hates her darker features, and a lot of women who have these hair colors and textures you’re trying to imitate are looking at you and are basking in their pride! And again, they love it! It puffs up their ego, superiority complex and entitlement! It gives them validation to feel superior over you.
Now, I’m not suggesting you become hostile towards these women by any means. I’m not suggesting you fight them or not befriend them. I have these women in my friendships as well as my family. We love the diversity of our people. We want a future for all of it! But as European women and girls with dark features, we have to stop making ourselves look like a crayon box of painted up women with fake dyed jobs. It makes us look trashy in our appearance, and it makes us look like we are a jealous group of women who hate our natural looks.
We should see no need to be angry, bitter, envious or jealous of these other women, especially when they are celebrated. It’s not about not letting them be celebrated on their platforms and special days. But it’s time we really start creating our own and stop trying to share on their platforms. We need to stop trying to imitate these beauty standards that aren’t our own! We need to become proud of our dark features as well as our heritage and start representing ourselves as who we really are, take it and run with it! Slay with it! Because, as far as everyone sees; we aren’t seen as a threat to any of these women at all. It's quite the opposite. Much of this may be because we lack our own public platforms as European women and girls with darker features. We need to really show our beauty boldly and exclusively, just as redheads and biracial people do. We don’t have that elevation, yet. But right now, let’s start with ourselves, our looks, our bodies, our hair, our confidence, our attitude, our appreciation for our given traits, friendships, dating choices and self-esteem. These are all of the things that make us valuable to others.
So let’s stop trying to share someone else’s pedestal and create our own! Because, you don’t get to sit with them on theirs. You aren’t considered to be one of them! Stop letting them outshine you by trying to imitate them! Let go of your obsession with them! Brunette women, you don’t need their stamp of approval to be celebrated and feel confident.
Create your own pedestal. You don't need to be championed by anyone else. Champion yourself! 👑Teach your daughters by example otherwise this will never end. 🤔It starts with you! 👸🏻
Also read: It's Just Hair. Why does it matter?