Feel intimidated by rare beauty? How dark haired women can thrive

Updated: Jul 12, 2019

Blonde vs Brunette

Why don’t we have our own magazines, beauty platforms or festivals celebrating women who look like us? I have often asked myself this question. I see redheads, blondes, and other beauty types elevated all of the time. But what about dark haired beauty and/or brown eyes? I get it. Rare beauty is valued. We all see that. But women with dark features can be just as stunning! So I began my research for platforms that celebrated our beauty type. I searched frantically online to find anything that would exclusively celebrate light skinned brunette beauty and have found nothing of the sort. Instead, I found people making negative comments about their dark features on white women which brings us to the inferiority complex. Mostly I hear is women with dark features such as brown to black hair and dark eyes putting themselves down and complaining about their traits and how they don’t want to have hair or eyes like everyone else. They say things such as:

I hate my brown eyes

"I hate my brown eyes and brown hair, there is nothing unique about them, Or ‘I wish I had blonde/red hair and blue/green/hazel eyes, it’s not fair etc."

This is the inferiority complex in a nutshell, and all other people perceive is that we are mad, hurt, or jealous group of women when they hear us say things like that. So how do we overcome this obsession with rare beauty types? How can we come to terms with our hair and establish our own beauty platform? Here I will be providing tips for dark haired women and girls on how to win at adoration and flourish. Note that it’s not tied to rare beauty standards. It's tied into relinquishing that unfortunate enslavement and fetish for blonde beauty that numerous dark haired women have fallen into.

Stop believing in the shaming strategies

It’s true that when it comes to beauty, people can often be narrow-minded, and dark haired women are no acception to this. With any effort to celebrate our beauty, we are often met with criticism. Here are the common quotes I hear from people:

Common shaming tactics brunette women may find themselves faced with.

“Our rare beauty is only 2% of the population. Brown hair is too common.”

There are more brunettes in the world? That’s because other races can’t be born with yellow aka blonde hair. So if you moved to Asia or someplace like that, yes there wouldn't be that many blondes, but in the West, I’m sorry to say; but I see just as many blondes as brunettes and they are not all fake (unless they all dyed their roots the same day). Besides, what does it matter what hair is more rare or more common? All hair colors can be beautiful if properly cared for and it goes well on the woman.

Brunette shaming tactics

“Brunettes are a dime a dozen.” - Jessica W

Then why is every brunette women out there not married? Brunettes and brunets come from all walks of life and are a very productive part of this world. No need to devalue them.

Brunette shaming tactics

Brunettes are overrated? Obviously you don't know what the term 'overrated' means.

Brown hair is the most underrated hair color, and these negative comments are here to prove it.

Brunette shaming tactics

The silent exclusion

Topping the intimidation strategies, we are constantly being reminded that we shouldn’t have the right to have an exclusive platform like these to celebrate our beauty type because our hair is too common (11% of the world population with brown melanin, not black), and in any attempt to do so we are often labeled as envious, hurt, bitter, overrated and desperate for attention. But by that same logic, couldn't we also say the same thing about others who exclude brunette women from their platforms? Because it is evident that they have a ‘silent agreement’ to exclude us. Let’s be real about this. They want to keep it light, keep it bright, keep it uncommon, keep it red or whatever they got the opportunity to do. Yet no one considers them to have an inferiority complex, desperate for attention or desirous of brunette women's hair or beauty (with only their identity barring on their stage). And all the while they remain silent on the issue of exclusion. But if you are narrow-minded, you won’t see it that way. Some of them actually go out and say it that they believe they are superior! But the problem is, dark haired women have fallen for this and have become fetishized with rare beauty in order to feel valued.

The silent exclusion of brunettes

Many of these women with these light and bright features and rare traits love being exclusive. They love being elevated above you. You may risk looking like a hater by pointing this out, but don’t feel intimidated or wrong for doing so by the ‘you're just jealous’ statements they will often throw at you. This old intimidation tactic (usually made by other women who have these traits or men who prefer other beauty types) is all about an attempt to shame us out of our confidence. Heck! We even do it to ourselves! Here are some comments I have ran across:

Eye Color:

Or negative comments on their hair:

The inferiority complex

a. I hate my dark eyes

b. I hate my brown hair

c. There is nothing unique about them

It is evident that there are many brunettes who hate their looks. But why or for what reason? We have every reason to love and celebrate our beauty. And again, this shows an inferiority complex and we have to stop putting ourselves down! You can’t win by obsessing yourself over women who are born with rare features every time they are elevated in the media. You can’t win by trying to make yourself look like them. You don’t win by putting yourselves down every time they are praised for their beauty by others who may overlook you.

Brown Hair Beauty

how Woman With Rare Features gain The Advantage

On the other hand, do we dark haired women have a ‘silent agreement’ to exclude others on our beauty platforms if any? It is evident that we don’t, because there is none! It’s quite the opposite. Rather than creating exclusive platforms for dark haired beauty, we elevate everyone above ourselves. I am seeing a lot of dark haired women idolizing other women who don't look like them, in particularly the light and bright colored features. We have fixated ourselves with these beauty standards. We have put forth the unnecessary effort to make ourselves look like them, so we can be valued as they are by society at large. But then we wonder why we do not have our own beauty magazine, platform or festival that celebrates beauty that represents us. You all aren’t thinking when you do this! In an attempt to make ourselves look like them, we are elevating them, not us, and in addition to every other person out there. Quit doing this! You are making a statement that you aren’t happy with the way that you look, which makes you look frantic and self-loathing. We need to gain the self-esteem and respect they have. This is what we need to thrive as women with dark features. After all, they are doing what we should be doing. That’s why they have an advantage over us in the media and in real time.

Brown Hair Beauty

If you are a brunette who is confident with her natural look, you will see no need to look like these women to be elevated. Some may accuse you of not holding a high standard for not trying to fit into this mold concerning these issues. But the real issue lies with those who see the need to dye their hair to make themselves look like these women with the curly bright red hair or platinum blonde look. And I see some brown eyed women with the colored contacts as well, and why do they do this? To make themselves look more ‘exotic’? I'll say, those are the women who look frantic. Those are the women who are genuinely fixated, who are extremely hurt and need some mending. When these dark haired women don’t even like their natural looks, who needs healing when you are going into the beauty solons for root touch-ups every other week because you don’t even like what your real hair looks like?

I'm not endeavoring to be biased or mean. Be that as it may, I see the contrast between the individuals who have high confidence and the individuals who don't. There is a big difference! Increasing confidence is something other than words, but it is something you put effort into. It is an activity and a process. It is a choice you make for yourself. So in light of the actions, those old shaming strategies will hold no weight with me! They won't work with me any longer, since I've come to understand that the peeling away of these artificial things and preconceived notions from women with dark features are what is necessary to empower them!

"I don’t find #BrownEyes unattractive, usually quite the reverse. I’ll tell you what is a little bit unattractive though (IMO) - those colored contact lenses that people use to cover brown eyes. They just don’t look right." - Graham Cox

Indeed, others who don’t comprehend the battle may label you as a hater for pointing these things out. Yet, what is more regrettable? Endeavoring to resemble these women artificially or to quit fixating on these women by attempting to make yourselves look like them? The world sees this, ladies. You aren't fooling anyone! The entire world sees it with your bottled blonde hair and your dark roots. They see that you don't care for your natural look. I wouldn't need to say anything in regards to this if dark haired women were not so fixated on this. Furthermore, anyone who tries to help people understand that we need to quit fetishizing light haired beauty to our own hindrance, simply ignore those shaming strategies as they come. Trust me, It’s not worth your time nor effort. Recognize that it's not you with the issues. Its them. In doing so, it won’t hinder your self-esteem or confidence. You won’t be the one making yourself look bad but empowering yourself and others around you who see you confident.

Be Selfishly Confident

Not all selfishness is bad. Sometimes we need to put our own needs first. Success is not tied to being rare. It's tied to being focused and goal oriented. Regardless of whether you want to compete with others, like it or not; you will find yourself rivaling other women for relationships, positions, occupations and more. Competition is inevitable. No matter how much you feel like you can kick butt in any situation, no matter how confident you think you are, no matter how much you talk about how you don’t feel intimidated by other women… well… newsflash: those women are contending with you! Many of them may even go so far as to exclude women who look like you. Keeping in mind that the end goal is to contend and win, and you must be focused and goal oriented. That doesn't imply that you believe you're superior to any other individual, or that you couldn't care less about them. It doesn't imply that you must be hostile towards them. It just implies that you put yourself first when vital. Don’t ask yourself why you aren’t winning when you are elevating these women above yourself. Regardless of whether it be the whole European standard of beauty or the preservation of rare traits, if you elevate others above you who are considered to be valued more, don't complain about being ignored to such an extent. This is on the grounds that we decline to put ourselves first. Every other person does. Be egotistical as they seem to be. Have your cake and eat it, too. And whoever demonstrates their loathe towards you and has an issue with that, they'll simply have to deal with it.

Stop measuring yourself against 'rare beauty standards'

Brunette is better

Let go of the idea that you have to attach yourself onto women such as Adrienne and Stephanie Vendetti in order to feel good about yourself. There are plenty of brunette women (and men) who look like you that are succeeding in life. These are the women you should look up to. There are brunette princesses, and even those with darker features than Europeans and Middle Eastern women. There are brunette women of high status that you can celebrate. You don’t need to imitate rare beauty standards to be beautiful. It’s not about being rare. It’s not about feeling intimidated by things like that. On the other hand, it isn’t about not being happy for them, not loving them, or not allowing others to be celebrated, either. Many, including me; have these women in our family and friendships. You may feel like excluding them means hating them. Not in the least. It’s not about feeling threatened by them at all. It’s about letting go of your obsession with their rare beauty standards and trying to measure yourself against that. That is the difference.

Expand Your Horizon

Expand your mind out of the confinement of the European standard of beauty. Realize that there are different types of beauty in the world that are celebrated. The more you get out, the more you will realize that you are not as common as you think you are. So get your passport. Travel to different places in the world. Realize that you are unique to the world. See how other people live in different areas of the world. Learn what other women struggle with in these communities. There are people who have a fetish for light skinned dark haired women in different parts of the world, just as much as there are those who love rare beauty. China, for example; elevates light skinned dark haired people as being exotic. So does Scandinavia (which is predominantly blonde or light haired people). If you want to know what it’s like to be seen as exotic, visit these places. And although I would encourage my people to keep their heritage, I don’t think that it’s a completely bad thing for a woman to explore her options and meet someone who would truly value her for who she is. It really helps to unwind and to gain more knowledge of the world outside of America and Europe and get to know people from other cultures. Know that you are not confined to what the white community says you have to be confined to. But keep it real.

Don't Admit defeat

People may put forth the expression that we need to:

"Get over this 'bias' issue, dark haired women will never be esteemed as those with light hair. Simply surrender it. Quit talking about it. You can't make individuals like you."

It isn't so much that I don't concur with that. However, here is the issue: That same articulation can be compared to bigotry, sexism, abuse, prejudice, anti-whitism, anti-semitism and everything else you hear individuals discuss on the elective media. So if the motivation behind why we should hang this up is on the grounds that 'bias' isn't going to change, at that point everyone should quit discussing their issues. I think everybody who discusses these things realizes that they can't change the world, and realizes that things will keep on being what they are. That doesn't imply that they need to quit discussing it and quit helping one individual at any given moment.

This isn't about an assumption that 'I will probably change the way the world contemplates me'. That would not be a sensible objective, and I'm not going to imagine that it is. In any case, on the off chance that I need to 'let it go' since 'nothing will change', at that point; everyone else should 'give it up' quit talking their issues as well. The pro-whites who talk about white genocide and/or the migration crisis in their homelands, they have to quiet down. The blacks and biracial people who complain about prejudice should quiet down, as well. The young women of Europe who are being trafficked by Muslim grooming gangs ought to likewise quit discussing it. Parents who are attempting to prevent the schools from mentally conditioning their children with Marxist authoritative opinion ought to likewise quit discussing it. On the off chance that I should abandon the cause of helping other women become more confident, at that point for what reason aren't you advising others to abandon their causes? Why is it, with regards to bias; that you see the need to shut individuals down? A great deal of this devaluation of women and girls with dark features may not ever change, but it can help encourage other women to value themselves and to win!

So if someone want to give you their long discourse about how we are fighting a losing battle, when we as a whole have our own battles to fight, Just be honest. They should simply say that they couldn't care less about 'bias' and they would prefer not to hear about it, since that is not their concern. In any case, I am creating an impression European women with dark features that they don't need to surrender to a low self-esteem just because of how society views them, and no one needs to take that state of mind to what they are doing.

We should support each other and lift each other up. Helping each other through these issues and picking up certainty is not unprofitable, but empowering.

If European and caucasian women with dark features are intimidated and/or jealous for wanting exclusivity then so are red-head women, Latina, Asian, mixed, black and every other women who are keeping their magazines and pages dedicated to women who look like them. Brunette women, don’t let them shame you into playing fair when nobody else is!

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