How can I be happy about not getting what I want?

Updated: Oct 16, 2018

How can I learn to love my dark hair?

I know it may be hard to believe, but not getting what you wan't can sometimes turn out to be the best thing for you. But sometimes it's hard to see through disappointments. There is a part of me that wishes things could have been different. There is also a part of me that wants to embrace the traits I was given. The truth is, God doesn't make mistakes. So why should I feel ashamed of the way God made me? Because of what someone else thinks? 

As friend once told me: "Two key things in life we must accept, luck and timing. Not all of us are blessed with luck and not all of us can choose the right timing but just keep these two attributes in your mind." 

Sometimes I do feel like luck has not been on my side, at least not with my hair. But in some ways it has. Just not in the ways I wanted it to. I lucked out in facial features, family, my eye color, and other things I am thankful for. 

For those of you who feel dissatisfied with the traits that you were born with, who doesn’t want to be a blonde, except blondes? Who doesn’t want curly hair except curly heads, and who doesn’t want thick hair other than the people who have it? This really made me wonder how am I different from any of these women in light of this? It made me check my heart issue a bit. Perhaps there is someone else out there that would love to have what I have. But, no; that couldn’t possibly be true. What could be worse than what I have? What can be less desirable than that? I just didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to because I felt unhappy and dissatisfied with everything!

Then one day, something else happened. I saw a little girl with no hair. She had alopecia, a condition that the body rejects the hair due to an allergic reaction. So the hair falls out and they can no longer regain the ability to grow their own hair. This broke my heart to see. I really wish kids didn't have to go through that. This truly moved me to tears as the parents explained how their young daughter was teased and put down for a problem she had no control over! What a world we live in. It came to a point when I began to stop and think after seeing a couple of them that had this condition. Even seeing people my age losing their hair due to age...  Maybe I may not have liked what I’ve been given, at first; but I’ll have to admit that it’s a heck of a lot better than nothing! This really made me think about all of the times I complained about not getting what I wanted.

Was this really what they asked for? Nobody, and I mean nobody comes into the world asking for problems like this, and be bullied because of it!

For any child that has suffered hair loss, there is hope. There is DermaLense, exclusively for children with Alopecia. Check it out here


If you are an adult, especially if you are a woman that is struggling with hair thinning or hair loss, you should look into JuveTress. I would also recommend checking your thyroid.

Then I began to look into the mirror at my 33-year-old self, with a full head of shiny healthy and beautiful chocolate brown locks, and I began to put something into practice. I started thanking God for every strand of hair I had, something I had a hard time doing. And after experiencing hair thinning due to blow drying and bleaching for years, I am beginning to understand a lot more what I truly had. Many times we don't know what we have until it's gone. If you are suffering hair thinning, especially after bleaching and blowdrying, there is hope. Check out how to regrow hair using CASTOR OIL and APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. I personally use these to combat dry scalp, clogged hair follicles, and hair loss. It works wonders, and I will be posting some before and after pictures. If you have damaged hair after bleaching, castor oil and ACV is the way to go to grow more healthy shiny hair you can be proud of.

We can all relate to this in different areas of our lives. There comes a point when we've got to stop looking at what we don't have so we can see what we really do have. We may not all be born with what we want, but we need to take what we’ve been given and make the most of it. So when you feel like your down in the dumps, that things couldn’t possibly be worse in your life, and you feel like life has given you the bad end of the stick, just remember that there is always someone else out there that has it a lot worse than you do. And there is always someone else out there that would love to have what you have. This really made me think!

So how can you get over disappointment? It's not easy, but it starts by thanking God for every strand of hair you have. We also have to remember, that men will also pick up on these insecurities. And what you say about yourself will be how men perceive you.

No, we don't always get what we want. But consider this: There are people who will never have what you have, right now.

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