Updated: Nov 3, 2018
Are brunettes really "a dime a dozen" as some would say?
What is the true meaning of value? That's the real question. Here I am addressing the problem with society's view of worth. I ran across this article that was cringe worthy. The title of it is: "8 reasons why men love brunettes and 8 reasons why they hate them" by Jessica W. She sums up why being a brunette is so bad.
She stated: “Since blonde-haired women are eye-catching for their lightness and presumed rarity, they naturally stand out in a crowd. Dating a blonde woman is like dating a prize; men want to show her off and be the king of the jungle (but only if he doesn't easily get jealous). While there are many stunning brunettes out there, there are so many of them that bringing a brown-haired date won't wow any guests, spectators, or persons of interest. If you're the type of guy who wants to flaunt his lady around and pretend you're a winner, blonde is the way to go. Brunettes are a dime a dozen, so toting one around at parties will not only be mild and expected, but she'll likely not be content with simply being your arm candy, whereas blondes are more than happy to accept and perform this role.”
What does she mean by a dime a dozen? Let’s look up the definition:
So who or what truly determines your worth? Its obvious what value system this world holds. It’s a real superficial lot! And if this is all some guy thinks you're worth, then he isn't worth your time, anyway. And if the guy truly loved you, what would it matter what everyone else thinks? It's cringy. But this is the world's value system, in a nutshell.
Why are there so many brunettes compared to Redheads and blondes?
They always hit us with this question, don't they? Especially when they say: (("But... we are only 1 to 2% of the population. Therefore, we are more valuable. Value = rarity.")) So when they attack us with these ((shaming tactics)), lets ask these questions:
((Brown hair is too common, nothing special.))
Brown hair on women and men is considered average only because it is more common in the West (not so much in non-Western countries).
Though brown may not be a popular color, in and of itself, studies have also shown that gentlemen, on average; prefer brown hair on women. So explain that. Gentlemen on average also prefer to marry brunettes. That could explain why there are more brunettes out there than there are redheads and blondes. Why? Could it be that they are generally preferred?
To read more about this check out: The scientific reason on why men may prefer brunettes or blondes.
((Brown Hair is a dominant gene. It is average and commonality is not as valued as rarity.))
Think about it. If dark haired girls were not generally preferred, then why are there so many of them?
And don't just give me the cop-out answer: it's just because brown hair is dominant. Not always. That depends on what we are speaking of. Black hair is dominant over Brown hair and brown hair is dominant over other colors.
((Exactly, brown hair is dominant. That is why it is more common.))
Dominant doesn't always mean common. And recessive may not always mean rare, either. And to be fair, there are recessive genes that are very common, such as 5 fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot, straight hair, being single jointed and other things that you see on people everywhere. Why are these recessive genes more common? Could it have to do with preference when it comes to choosing a mate?
The moot point: ((Things that are rare are valued higher.))
Rarity does not always mean higher value or quality as some would say. Rarity doesn't always mean superior or better. It could be that common traits are preferred by the majority. That is why there are more people in the world who have them.
And to my fellow brunette beauties, I say we should stop measuring ourselves against this value system that tells us that we are 'a dime a dozen' just because we have traits that are more common than others. Brown hair is fantastic! It is sexy, shiny and healthy; and it can look very elegant and classy with both light and dark skin shades. Every shade of brown is unique, and so is every brunette!
And for the record...
It is better to lose out on a guy who thinks he just needs someone to tot around on his arm than to love a loser.
I asked my husband about what he thought concerning this.
“Truthfully, we men could care less about women’s hair drama.” - Richard Tanner
The eyes may actually have it. Eye color sometimes mixes with hair color amazingly … blue eyes with dark hair, brown eyes with blonde, and green with, well, any hair color. It's funny how culture and media influence perception of hair color, but my personal opinion is that it doesn't matter what color your hair is. If you're hot, you're hot. - Rich Santos
The truthers tell all. It’s all about personal preference folks. Don’t waste your time trying to fit into a different mold.
But what if you feel like you are being overlooked for being too common? Lets address this.
The Benefit That Comes with Average Looks
In the midst of this, we may be considered average because there are more of us than there are most other hair colors (except black of course). We get that. So lets talk about the benefits that come with average looks and hair. First of all, if you don't value yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? And if you know you're worth, then it won't matter whether or not some guy wants to show you off on his arm for his ego. Why? Again: Beautiful things don't call for attention. They shine (just like your hair). And when you shine, people will notice. That will be the moment when you realize that what you are worth is so much more. So let it show in your attitude and your style!
Funny thing is, I grew up thinking that it was my hair that repelled the people who would truly care about me. Far from it! I learned to love it for the very reason that I hated it when I was growing up; because I was overlooked for being ‘too average’. Why love it for that reason? Being average looking can be beneficial in many ways. Society constantly pesters people that look extraordinary (the spectrum can go both ways) and it can really control how a person lives their life. People make assumptions about you and even go as far as to discriminate you because of how you look.
I also have family members and friends that look like they can be gracing the cover of magazines and people flock to them for their looks (which is just as bad because you lose your ability to differentiate between those that genuinely like you as a person to those who only like you because of your appearance).
Average looks weed out the people who would only be interested in you because of your appearance. It helps you to know who is or isn’t truly interested in who you are. There is a big difference! And in the midst of that, why worry? Anyone who truly loves you will know there is more to you than what meets the eye.
So, if I had to pick between being someone’s arm candy or not to be, I'd rather not be. Why? What's the point? I'd rather find someone who is looking for a serious relationship than to be reduced to someone who just wants to show me off on his arm for his ego.
Here is the reason why you shouldn't care about this, either.
A woman is unstoppable when she realizes that she deserves better!
Be a genuinely beautiful soul, with your brown hair or other "average" looks. We should love those traits, because they will be the factor that will help filter out those superficial people who would only base your value on things such as hair color and or other physical traits, so you only get to meet and keep in your life the very best of people who can look beyond the limitations of your body.
The true meaning of worth
There are two types of people in the world: the leaves and the roots. The leaves on a tree are only there for a season, and to give a little shade every now and then. That’s how most people in this world are: here today and gone tomorrow. The roots at the bottom of the tree may be very few, but it’s those roots that keep that tree alive. This world may be full of people who may overlook you, but it also contains those who will love you fiercely! And those ‘roots’ or ‘rare jewels’ (as I would call them) are very hard to find. But if you do manage to find one in your life, hold onto them. Keep those people around, because they aren’t going anywhere! These are the people who truly matter, those who know your value, love you and will stay by your side for a lifetime. But everyone else, just let them go. Let folks go! And always be open to be a root in someone's life. And that is what will give you more value!
How do I attract those people into my life?
Ditch the inferiority complex
Get some self-esteem, ladies. Find out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Work on your flaws. Let your strengths be at the forefront. Stop comparing yourself to others. Do only what you can do. Stop putting yourself down in front of people to fish for compliments, because what you say about yourself is what men will think about you.
Confidence attracts. Don’t be a fake person. Don’t try to fit into a different mold. Make your own beauty standard. Let your natural beauty be what attracts the person of your dreams, the right friends who will love you and keep your head up high. Never compare yourself to others, but be the best version of yourself you can be.
Take care of your physical appearance
Don't do it for others. Do it for yourself. I know I stated that the world does judge you by your looks. And its true. But a poor hygiene can turn even the best of people away. Take care of your body. Eat right. Get fit. Try out different hairstyles. Dress yourself up. Treat your hair like it is the most rare and coveted gift in the world. Make the world wonder why.
Don't be a needy person
Don't depend on another human being to make you happy. Don't seek to cling to a man for your happiness. Do you have a dream or a goal in your life? Follow it. Get involved with people who have the same interests. Stay busy with just being you and do what makes you happy. When you have your own goals established and you are working towards them, or whether you have made some great achievements, people will notice. People will be attracted to that. Create your own happiness and let that significant other only add to it, not be it.
Don't be nasty towards other women
This turns men off if you decide to cut other women down, no matter what your hair color is. I know it is tempting, especially when that platinum blonde walks into the room with all eyes on her. But if you see the need to put others down for their looks or faults, you will appear to be a jealous and self loathing person in their eyes. Recognize that just because another woman is pretty, doesn't make you any less amazing!
I can't say this enough. Be honest about your goals in life. Be your real self when you're not around a lot of strangers. Be honest about your feelings, opinions, goals and dreams. Don't try to fit into someone else's mold for beauty standards, or way of being. Everyone is unique. Everyone is an individual and is deserving of respect. Keep that in mind.
Stop looking for outside validation or attention from men
Remember, beautiful things don’t call for attention. They shine, and the world sees it. Don't depend on the compliments of others to define yourself worth or esteem. Remember that there are those people out there who will love you fiercely. They may be hard to find, but you don't have to search for them. Just be someone who can be loved, and those who will love you will come to you.
Don't pretend to be something that you aren't
In light of this I would never want to be blonde. Why? There are too many of them out there the way that it is as more people are dying their hair than ever before. It’s gotten to be so common place that it is now becoming less common to be a brunette! So its not exactly going to impress people for you to dye your hair blonde. You don't have to be blonde to be a rare jewel in someone else's life, anyway!
Be a rare jewel in someone's life
Do you know how you can be valued by others? Be that kind of friend who will be there for a lifetime, who will make commitments, who will be willing to take risks, who will be traditional, dainty, feminine, have good moral values, have standards, self respect, a love for God, discrete and a person who has self-control. Learn some valuable skills. Become a productive member of society. All of these things add value to a person. Those that have those characteristics are extremely valuable and are becoming harder to find in this world. So be that person!
Don't ever let the world tell you that you are not valuable because you do not fit into their beauty ideal or standard. Create your own beauty standard. Know that there are other ways you can become a valuable asset to society.
Realize that there are other ways you can stand out. Be that rare jewel in someone's life. Become the best version of yourself that you can be. Thats all you ever have to be.
Have you ever struggled with any of these problems? Tell us about your personal experiences and lessons learned in life!
Also read: Brownie Locks Day - It's All About Brunettes