Updated: Aug 4, 2018
The "Not Good Enough" Self Image can fall upon anyone.
This comes to struggle #3: I had to “Suck it up buttercup” as the old saying goes. It’s not like you can make the choice to have blonde hair and blue eyes. You get what you get. Can I get a witness? Later, I began to realize that I wasn’t the only person who struggled with this issue of hating my hair. I ran across some natural blondes who felt the same way about their hair and looks. I was astonished!
One quoted: “Although I had been studying people's hair color for weeks, I made my mind up one Saturday when I stood in a supermarket queue and looked around to realize I was just another blonde in a sea of badly-highlighted heads.”
Just another blonde? Seriously?? Blonde is more of a rare trait to have compared to the entire world population. And isn’t that what women spend thousands of dollars to get? Isn’t that what men, in general; take a double take on??
I came across a redhead complaining about her hair and skin:
“I hate my red hair, I hate my freckles, & I hate my skin the most. My natural hair color is red, & because of that I get really crappy skin. & yet I live in California, where everyone has a tan all year round. I hate my skin, 2 boys have asked y my skin is always red, I have to tell them because I'm stuck w red hair I get crappy skin, that burns so easily so I can’t get tan. It makes me feel like crap when I have to example this to people. Because to me it means that everyone notices that I have crappy skin.”
Here is another quote I found:
I don’t know about these people, but red hair and fair skin is gorgeous to me! How can anyone hate their rare traits? I’m trying to figure this all out, because the last I checked, redheads are the people that really turn heads, the ones who truly stand out above the “average brunette”. So why in the world would they want to look like the other 95%? This is beyond me!
On a side note red hair is in my gene pool also, and I'll have to say, I've got to love it. I also have some amazing red-heads in my family. So why do people hate their red hair? It's beyond me.
I also ran into curly heads who did not like their curls and straightened their hair on a daily basis, in particularly my sister and some others.
Really? Why try to be like somone else? This did not get any more confusing, especially after seeing people with straight hair getting perms.
And the next moment I run across another person complaining about their thick hair, shearing it off, and telling me about how it gives them a headache, I am going to pull my hair out! How can you be ungrateful for something like that?? There are some people that can only dream of thicker hair so it will actually grow for a change. I’ve been trying to grow mine for the past 15 years (uncut), and it still hasn’t grown past my waist. These ungrateful people just don’t realize what they have. I just don’t get people!
And now that I have told you about some of my past insecurities, you may pinpoint that I had a lack of confidence, and you would be right. And you may have struggled with it, too. Others have. But don't let those naysayers out there tell you that your version of having a lack of self-confidence is any worse than THEM having a lack of self-confidence.
Being a brunette and working hard to be red-head is no better or worse than a red-head working hard to be a bronze beauty. It never fails to amaze me when I look up these articles of people dissing themselves saying: I hate my fair freckled, I hate my red hair, I hate my curls, I hate my thick hair etc. And when I come to read them they leave me bothered and a little upset, as much as those who are vain narcissists who put others down who do not look like them!
To people that perhaps feel unhappy with their natural hair color or appearance, yes, I am a brunette, and yes, I also have hated it for a long time for very similar reasons as outlined in the by some of these people. But it would be beneficial to remember that everyone feels that severe lack of confidence sometimes, and some more than others. If you looked into the minds of those gorgeous blondes and ruby red-heads, you will find that many of them also disliked their looks, and wanted to make themselves different. And while you can indeed go through all the effort to continually dye your hair and such, wouldn’t you think that it would be better to learn how to play the hand you were dealt really well, rather than try to completely change it?
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. It is a low self-esteem problem, not your hair. It takes work but you can grow past it, regardless of what you were born with. It all boils down to this, learning to love yourself, and your traits. And this applies to pretty much everyone.
Be thankful for your hair and who you are. Women can have these features and be just as beautiful as those with rare features. Such beauty!! #BrunettesUnite