Why I am thankful my mother never let me dye my dark chocolate locks

Updated: Sep 9, 2018

Like many brunette women I know, learning to love my hair color was a challenge. 

Brunette Beauty

Growing up, I was the only dark-haired child in my family. I never stood out as my siblings did, even when I wanted to. Boys would call me ugly (and even some girls would criticize me for my looks). Strangers would overlook me and fix their attention on my siblings’ colorful hair. No matter where I went in the world, my dark hair seemed to always make me blend in a little too much with the outside crowd. #BrunetteProblems


Luckily, I found the solution to help me stand out: dye my hair.

READ: Life is too short too have boring hair

In middle school, as I noticed other girls my age dying their hair, I began to approach my mother on the issue. I saw one of my friends, a natural blonde; always changing up her hair. She would always use temporary dye to color her hair. I thought it may be a great idea for me. What I didn’t realize was that, in order to dye my dark brown locks; I would have to use heavy duty bleach. I was out of luck as I had no clue how to properly color my dark hair. The only one I knew could help me was my mother. So why not ask her? She dyes her hair. I wanted to be like her and dye mine, too. There is no way she would say no.

But, to my disappointment.... she did.

My mother won't let me dye my hair

I was at an ever more revolt to have my hair the way that I wanted. She kept talking about how I was too young to dye my hair. I was absolutely annoyed by her response. I let her know, that by the time I get older; that I would dye my hair.

My parents won't let me dye my hair

When I reached age 13, my mother caved into letting me use sun-in (not hair dye) for lightening my hair. I used it, but it did real damage to my hair. It became brittle, frizzy, and very hard to manage.

Bleached hair damage

My mother saw it and told me to stop after a certain point. But when I chose not to, she snatched it away and dumped it on the ground, right in front of me! I was outraged! She still would not let me dye my hair, even as I reached high school. I was forced to wear this brown hair shade I hated so much. All the while she continued to refuse to let me dye my hair.

But following that she would always encourage me by telling me how soft, shiny and beautiful my natural silky chocolate hair was, and that I did not need to have light hair to be beautiful.

And you know something? She was right.

Shiny brown hair

I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that my dark chocolate hair was truly beautiful and unique. All shades of brunette hair are unique and truly gorgeous!

But what if my mother would have let me dye my hair? More than likely, I would have never come to terms with my hair and would continue to feel unhappy with myself. I would have never come to appreciate it for what it is and that I was truly blessed to be born with this beautiful hair shade!

The other day, I had gone to the solon and asked if they had a hair dye that matched my natural hair color (to dye the bleached part of my hair back). They said among themselves: "That hair color is very hard to find or match." Maybe it really isn't found in a bottle. So, the next time someone tries to comment on my hair, I will stand proud of it!

Now, when people ask me if I will ever dye my hair, I proudly say no. You aren’t going to put any bleach in my hair. That would ruin it! If I had gone against my mother’s will for me to change the color of my hair, I may not have ever came to terms with it and learned to love it as much as I do now. I learned to wear it with confidence, and all the while making the world wonder why.

If you are a brunette beauty thinking about dying your hair, consider the wise advice my mother gave me:

“You’re hair is so beautiful and soft. Why would you ever want to change it?”

I know it is tough dealing with self-esteem issues while standing next to someone born with rare traits, but just remember this: you don’t have to be rare to be beautiful or valued! Self-esteem is a choice, and the choice it is up to you. So why not learn to love your dark locks? It will help you gain that self-esteem you need to thrive and win at adoration. You may even fall in love with it, or someone else will if you give it a chance!

After all, chocolate this rich doesn't come in a bottle!


If you want to show off your dark locks on twitter, make sure you use the hashtag #BrunetteTwitter! And be sure to join our new Brunette Beauty FB group. Have fun!

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At Brunette Beauty® we celebrate European beauty in the Brunette division. We encourage traditional values, confidence and for brunette and bronze beauties to rock their natural look with confidence. We are proud of our hair and our heritage! 

Meet  Sonya
Loves electronic music ,
Gaming, Dancing in the Rain, A Cool Glass of zevia, All Thing Shiny & Sparkly  

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